A Letter to My Younger Self: Ari Sibrey-Hughes
By Dear Ari,
Today will be a hard day. Reading those words, “We regret to inform you that you did not pass the North Carolina Bar Exam,” will be one of the toughest times you will go through. I know it seems unfair, reflecting back to all the time you spent studying, reading, writing, and taking practice exams, all to fail by three points! I know you feel like burying your head under the covers and never coming up again. The disappointment you feel about yourself in this moment makes you want to give up on your dream of becoming a lawyer. But you will persevere, become confident in yourself, take the exam again and pass! That will be one of the greatest moments of your life. You will barely keep the news to yourself, and everyone will be so proud of you. You will be sworn in to become a lawyer, just like your dad did many years ago. Although you can’t call and share the news with him, you know he is smiling (okay, beaming) down with joy and pride at your accomplishment.
So what happens next, you ask? You will find your first job in the family law field. It has its challenges, but you are determined to put your all into the work and to help your clients. Then, one day, out of the blue, your boss will come into your office and say, “I think you’re a great person, but you just don’t get it. I am going to have to let you go.” Those words will catch you off guard. You put your heart into your work and did your best. This event will rock you and make you wonder if you aren’t good enough to even practice law. It will make you feel as if the many years and tears you’ve expended truly were for naught. Let me tell you, no, they were not. You will take this opportunity to reset, think about who you are and consider the impact you want to have on this profession. Stay tuned because it gets so much better.
Fast forward to about a year later. One day, you will be job searching and come across a post on Craigslist. The line that jumps out at you will be, “Do you like to travel? Do you like to help people?” Yes, and yes! It is a job posting for a Social Security Disability Attorney. You have very little knowledge or understanding of what Social Security Disability is, but you are open and willing to try, so you apply for the job. And guess what? You get the job! And what’s even better, you absolutely love it. Picture this: you get to help people who are unable to work so that they can obtain benefits to be able to live again. The clients you represent have been through tough situations, with both mental and physical impairments, and just want to have some semblance of normalcy, of not having to worry about income on top of worrying about their health. You get to educate people on what social security disability is and how it works. And this isn’t just geared toward your clients. You will give talks and presentations to groups about social security disability. You will find so much fulfillment in your job that you often quip that even if you win the lottery, you would keep your job. You get to travel across the United States representing your clients. You’ll meet some incredible people who have left lasting impressions on you. The joy you get in telling a client that they have been approved for benefits is priceless. It’s hard to believe, but you will be promoted to senior attorney, and in just a few weeks, will celebrate your six-year anniversary with your firm. You’re even planning on taking the specialist exam this year because you want to be even more efficient and knowledgeable for your clients.
Aside from your job, you will be an active member in various bar associations, joining committees, speaking at CLEs, volunteering for pro bono events, and participating in programs to make you a better advocate and hone your leadership skills. But your most impactful contribution is your mentorship. You have found such joy and purpose in mentoring those who are starting their journeys in the law profession. You have had an amazing network of mentors who helped you along the way, whether it be with practical advice or cheering you on with new endeavors, and you feel fortunate to be able to give that same energy back to others. You will offer practical advice and encouraging words to others. Your journey of adversity will show others that even with the best planning and goal setting, you’ll get hit with curveballs, and you are a shining example of how to best navigate those challenges. You strive to provide an example of how setbacks mold you into becoming who you are and the importance of keeping your eye on the goal, even in the darkest moments when you want to give up. You strive to be real and honest, admitting those imperfections but creating lessons from those challenges and setbacks.
My dear Ari, I know today is hard and you want to throw in the towel, but I encourage you to keep going. Take a day or two to feel sad, but after that, wipe your tears and push forward. The road ahead is so bright, and you will have such a great impact on the profession. We are all cheering you on and look forward to seeing you shine.
Love,
Ari