Dear NCBA WIP . . .

By the WIP Committee 

As a reminder, as part of a monthly blog series, we’ve invited members of the NCBA Women in the Profession (WIP) Committee to share their insights on common challenges faced by women in the legal profession. As you will see in their answers, each member brings a unique perspective and personal experience, resulting in varied responses to the same questions. This diversity of thought underscores that there is rarely a single “right” answer to any given situation. We hope these insights offer valuable perspectives for other female attorneys navigating similar dilemmas in the legal workplace.

Below you will find responses from WIP members to the second set of questions:

The WIP Committee aims to offer guidance to attorneys who may face similar situations and feel uncertain about how to proceed. While we may not be able to answer every question, we will address as many as possible. We also encourage other NCBA members to submit questions for WIP members to consider. If you have questions, please email BreAnne Shieh.

Question 1: Family Support Policies

Dear NCBA WIP, I was offered a job, but I think I need to decline because of the lack of family support policies (i.e., no family leave, no remote option). Has this happened to you before? What should I do?

Answer 1

Negotiate for family support policies you think will be important and/or helpful for you now or in the future. If you are considering not taking the job, it will not hurt to let them know why. Small firms may not have the resources or the culture to have formal HR policies; however, larger firms and organizations do. Either way, the employer should have to confront the issues they are creating by not having supportive policies for families. And, if the response is that we just will not have that here, and they do not fall under a mandatory FMLA policy, then it is fine to let them know why the job is not going to work for you.

Answer 2

This is a very tough situation. If this is a job that you are really interested in, it may be helpful to see if you are able to negotiate the remote option or other family-friendly policies. You may also consider whether this job would allow you to pay for additional childcare that would make it more feasible for you to take the job. It sounds like this job may not be the right fit today, but it may be best to stay on friendly terms with the law firm and see if it could be a fit in the future after your family demands decrease.

Question 2: Work Boundaries

Dear NCBA WIP, I usually don’t work at night because I take care of my children, but my boss constantly emails me and expects me to be available. How can I draw boundaries with work?

Answer 1

I had two different experiences. With one employer (particularly one manager), I was expected to be always available – regardless of any situation or having a young child. With my present employer, it is understood that family comes first. If there is a true emergency, of course, I will respond; however, it is understood that unless I have committed otherwise – the work day ends at the office.

Answer 2

Let your boss know you will be able to email back the next day. Your boss might not know that you have responsibilities at night but is trying to get the task off his or her desk.

Answer 3

It is very hard to draw boundaries at work but an honest discussion about your family obligations and your desire to be present with your family for a few hours in the evening may help. Because I value the short time I spend with my children (we get home at 6 p.m., and then they are in bed by around 8:30 p.m.), I try to only respond to emails and tasks if they are urgent during this time.

Question 3: Advice on Being a Parent and an Attorney

Dear NCBA WIP, I want to have children someday. How do you juggle all your obligations? What tips can you share with me?

Answer 1

Have a support system in place if you can. Emergencies and unexpected events happen, so having someone available to be there when you can’t is helpful. Get to know your kid(s)’ friends (and parents), teachers, and coaches. Also, remember your priorities. The email or memo can wait until your child is asleep or even until the next day.

Answer 2

First, recognize that it’s impossible to be good at everything. Many people separate their lives into children, partners, and work. Many people can only focus on one thing at a time, maybe two, but three is asking way too much of yourself. Nobody can do it all. But focusing on your children when they are little and then switching to your career when they are older may be the best we mortals can do. Contracting out childcare while making it easier to focus on work may or may not work for you and your children. It’s all a balancing act, and we are not superwomen!

Answer 3

It is so hard to be a working parent and an attorney! Check out the NCBA WIP’s most recent blog post, How to Survive Practicing Law While Being a Caregiver – Part 2, for tips on this very topic. Also, be sure to follow this series, as Part 3 will feature an interview with Carolyn (“Kerry”) E. Waldrep, a former attorney and now Ph.D. candidate at the University of Texas at Austin. She will share some findings from her dissertation research focusing on women attorneys.

For more information about the impact of women in the profession and their retention, an ABA Report is available online. The report details demographics and forces that are impacting the profession.