Fifty
By Around the time of my recent fiftieth birthday, I was frequently asked about any profound or revelatory thoughts I had experienced. I always felt that my responses were a little underwhelming. After some reflection, however, I realized it might not have been my responses that were the issue, but the framing of the question.
I came to this realization, in part, during rides home from school with our two boys. If I asked our fourth and sixth graders what they learned at school that day, I frequently got responses like, “not much” or “nothing interesting” or “the same old stuff.” But if I asked what they had done at school, or their favorite activity, the responses were far more animated and more complete.
So, I put this to the test with my own experience with a milestone birthday. Rather than asking myself what I had learned, I thought about things I had done. More precisely, as an employment lawyer and litigator, I reflected on things I had found myself telling clients on more than one occasion. Here are a few of the things that have stuck with me.
Time Is the Most Valuable Thing
This sounds like an easy one. As we age, we all seem to learn the value of time in our personal lives. Time with our family, time with our friends, time alone, time not doing anything. But time is also valuable in the employment world, particularly when it comes to trade-secret and non-compete cases (and most other litigation).
Sure, anytime someone engages with an attorney, the topic of cost is close at hand. And while time equates to money in our profession, the real value of time cannot be calculated in six-minute increments. So, while I often refer to whether a non-compete matter can be resolved as “the $50,000 question,” because that is a number that I have come to realize over the course of time is an incredibly rough arithmetic mean of resolving a garden variety non-compete case, I try to shift clients as quickly as I can from talking about money to talking about time.
Rather than the money it will take to prosecute or to defend a restrictive covenant case, I try to direct clients toward the time that will pass between when they approach me seeking advice on how to enforce or how to avoid employment restrictions to the time when they can be focusing on more important tasks like running their business or being employed in their chosen profession.
It Never Hurts to Do the Right Thing
And what is the best way to conserve our valuable time? By doing the right thing. In my line of work, I have come to learn that doing that right thing hits the trifecta – it is good for us personally, legally, and professionally.
I have been fortunate to attract clients with predominately the same values as my own. (I have also learned that this has not been by mistake. But that is for another article.) But almost without exception, my clients (sometimes with some encouragement) realize the value of following their own moral code.
As the Avett Brothers sing, “I’m happy being me the most.” Going against this can feel good in the short-term (who doesn’t like a dose of good old retribution after all?), but that high is often short-lived and distracts us from pursuing our own best interests.
Following our own moral compasses, I tell clients, results in a consistent course. And in telling our story, whether it be to a judge, a jury, a mediator, or opposing counsel, a consistent narrative engenders trust and confidence. The truth, after all, will set you free.
Doing the right thing, I say, is also attractive to potential customers. No matter a client’s line of work, I have found that customers want to deal with someone they can trust. Not someone willing to cut corners, change their tune, or compete unfairly.
Building Layers of Support Prevents Dramatic Falls
No one likes to see an unreasonable boss or abusive owner succeed. Unfortunately, over the short run, these types of people often appear to get ahead or to rise through the ranks. But, as I have seen in my own career, the success experienced by these types of people is often short-lived and the fall from grace is often dramatic.
I like to think that people who build what I call layers of support as they climb the professional ladder, often by treating others with grace and compassion, experience setbacks that are less dramatic and of shorter duration. On the other hand, hostile leaders are less likely to be caught on the way down when the inevitable fall comes.
Some Higher Power Will Prevail in the End
At some point during my conversations with clients, things usually turn to “doing the right thing” or “keeping someone from getting away with something.” And, yes, I believe in principles. Personally, those principles are Judeo-Christian principles, but I think many of these are universal.
Rather than putting pressure on ourselves to right certain perceived wrongs, I encourage clients to allow karma, the universe, God, our some other higher power to prevail over wrongdoers. After all, none of us is stronger than the universe. Somewhat surprisingly, I have not experienced a single client to object to this expression of faith.
Loving our neighbors as ourselves (Jesus); refusing to degrade the human personality (MLK Jr.); acting with kindness, compassion, and generosity toward others (karma); justice, equity and compassion in human relations (universalism). I believe all these things have a place within our legal and moral systems.
As an Older Lawyer (gulp), I Have a Responsibility to Other Lawyers
In the early parts of my career, it was easy to blame unreasonable clients for failing to agree to requests for extensions of time, making simple concessions, or demanding vengeance. As my age and stage have advanced, I have come to realize I can no longer hide behind stubborn clients. It is on me to manage my clients’ expectations, emotions, and actions.
And while I like to believe that my understanding of the law or the way it is managed has evolved, I also have an obligation to resist believing things are one way or the other just because I say so. Too often I have witnessed lawyers in places of privilege or power make this mistake, not just to the detriment of their clients but to the detriment of our profession.
So, if you ask me today how I feel about passing this milestone birthday, what would I say? Well, it only took 50 years, but maybe I have learned something after all.